It’s a launch!
School year #23 at Parker begins today and I couldn’t be happier. There is nothing like the optimism and sense of possibility when school begins. Spotless shiny floors, new bulletin boards, new supplies unpacked, brushes washed and conditioned...brings energy and a sense of a new start that everyone should have in any career. Reset the start button, batteries recharged, begin! The enthusiasm between colleagues is infectious, and there aren’t enough hours in a day, again. No naps! More espresso, please!
Except, I really hope to find at least half of one hour a day to do something artistic for my mind and spirit. Over the weekend I had a wee bit of an emo funk (ok, maybe a bit more than wee bit.) Attribute it to my current obnoxious pain levels, prednisone, the two atb’s I’m gagging down twice a day, even “just” hormones. Whatever it was, I felt sad and could only see the negatives in my life. Hate when this hat appears. Nothing overwhelming, just a baseline of less than thrilled with the current lot. Cognitively I know better and can see it with my own eyes (one look at Kizzy usually erases any thoughts of unappreciation) but when the rabbit hole opens and I get my ankle stuck, it can be challenging to just keep walking, And my legs and ankles and feet were really hurting! Walking might not be the best comparison!
So, I took out a new sketchbook and sat in the sun and made a rather uninspired page spread. I watched the bumble bees pop from weed to weed in my garden., There are so many bumble bees here! I drew simple contours of tangled weeds, and then painted them in, with very limited artistic goals. As I drew, I felt better. More grounded, less consumed by conflict, less present in my daily struggles. Sure, Toby was on his run in the yard with me and got blind-marooned multiple times and needed me to go get him and redirect him to where I was sitting, but generally I had a little block of time that made me feel better. Better than any pill the docs want to add to the RA regimen.
And it really doesn’t take long. While I love stitching and will always consider my needle my best pen, the satisfaction of “just” drawing is something I can not forget.
As I sit in meetings today, which feel like tight reins on a galloping horse, I will have my sketchbook handy and just...be. Cheers.