And like clockwork, I am looking around at my disheveled home and all the things I planned to get done over this summer...! Oy! The front stairs need painting, there are greens that need pulling between the driveway and sidewalk (and throughout the flagstones in front of my house),the kitchen needs wallpaper, paint, and a good clean, and the east side of the house needs paint, too. I think I didn't tackle a lot of these things because of the heat, so I anticipate a dirty fall (in that I will be dirty a lot in the cooler weather!) I miss having a husband. LOL. Really though, it is very hard doing all of this myself, even if I enjoy the challenge (and there is a part of me that does.) Some days, like this past week, it is hard just to get through a day of normal routine things that need doing - while not even working - due to health issues. IT is hard not to get frustrated and anxious, but I am trying.
Lately I am trying a new technique of managing my frustration and inability to function the way I want to...and it is surprising to even me. I am making quilt blocks. Plain, old quilt blocks. Four patch, half triangles, quarter triangles. Log cabins. They don't match and are made out of whatever I have to use at the moment. It is funny, because outside of the four little nephew quilts I made years ago, I don't make "real" quilts - but have always been in awe of them. When giving quilt talks the guilds hold their show and tells, and I find myself gasping and their creations. And wishing I could make something so beautiful. I belong to a "scrappy" club group on Facebook and see all the amazing BIG things that people are creating with little pieces and little bits of time.
So, when faced with a few minutes of "lame time" when I still want to DO something, I grab some small pieces of cloth and bang out a few blocks. Eventually they may turn into things, or they may not. It's okay. Just the act of MAKING FABRIC feels productive. Using the machine, seeing cloth juxtapositions come to life feels good. And during lame times when the body is screaming, I need to occupy my mind with anything that feels good and is productive! Not part of my "art" (although I found that I made a few blocks that match my current artwork...hmmm...)
The current piece that I am making for my City and Guilds UK course is well underway, and is pushing me into using dimensional elements and layers in new ways. Am trying to not over embellish, which may not be obvious for the beaded part I did this week. Some parts will be left naked! I am determined! More to come as this piece develops.
And, not like clockwork, the unstoppable Tilman is, well, not like clockwork again in the potty department, causing him great pain and discomfort, and more vet intervention. Had to see a vet other than the Amazing Doctor Carol on Sunday as she was ill herself (feel better, Carol! Take time to get better!!) and Tilly is on antibiotics and pain meds to hopefully help him out. Getting him to eat regularly is an issue as he demands chicken, not dog food, which is not a recommended diet. It seems like the best choice though as the auditioning of dog foods to find one that he will willingly eat has made his tummy a mess again. The vet recommended a sedated dentistry with the extraction of every tooth he has left, which scares me. I bet he would feel better without his teeth, but would he make it through surgery at his age? Will he live long enough after surgery to justify the procedure's cost to him and the financial cost, too? Tilly is slowing down, and as Tim wisely said "is elderly and will have good days and not so good days" as he enters this phase of his life. He is in his late 70's now, age 14.5. Anything can happen now.
I am not ready for this. Not at all. Losing Toby was tough, but different as he was so ill for so, so long. Tilly has been my best pal since my married days, a witness and part of both my old and new lives. My 8lb rock of a mighty dog is now becoming a more feeble, 7lb delicate and elderly pebble that needs protection and special care in order for it not to fracture or further erode. My heart is breaking a little bit more each day, each time I see him slow down and be uncomfortable with moving, eating, or going the bathroom. Maybe a slow break is the secret to not losing my mind when the inevitable eventually happens. Though I can't even think about it without filling up.
So, I won't! Off to make him a yummy chicken and pumpkin brekkie. And pray to the pooping Gods for clear passage LOL.
And because this post needs a pic of Til but he is sleeping and I don't wish to take one, here's an oldie but goodie that sums it up nicely. Cheers!