Pulled out my pre-vacation to do list today, as it is Friday. Five days off, what got done? Barely anything! Granted, the day is not over, but I am not optimistic. Awoke at 3 a.m. with full body cringeworthy pain that was so uncomfortable I couldn't get up to even stretch or get pain meds.  Listened to the radio and counted breaths until I fell asleep again around 4:30. Welcome to the glamorous world of RA. It has been a tough week in terms of pain levels, even though I made a conscious effort to keep moving like I do when I am at work. Weather? Maybe. General exhaustion? Maybe. Tired of trying to figure it all out. All I know is that every day I leave behind a massive trail of important things that need doing, including housework that never seems to get complete.  And I try to continue with art, as it is one of the few ways I can escape the consciousness of the pain. 

So, feeling stiff, sore, and exhausted all week, I delved into one of the large digital prints I made during a course a couple summers ago. Listened to a fabulous audiobook by Miles Unger called Picasso and the Painting That Shocked the World.  Not only did it profile a young Picasso's life, it dismantled one of the most confusing paintings in art history to a point where I feel that I truly understand it, and Cubism, much better than before. Brilliant writing. I hope to find a paper copy of the book at some point to mark up. Lots of quotes that bring such clarity to a confusing, layered subject. 

The piece I am working on is very challenging to bead and embellish. The layers are irregular and semi-transparent. When beads are added, they become distinct and more physical.  Adding embellishment effects the layers and permanency of the objects in the piece, and a certain amount of ambiguity is lost. I like the print by itself and am being surprised by the way it is changing with the beads. I do not like all of it yet, but happily know that it is a print that could be remade -- as opposed to the one-of-a-kind collage pieces I usually make.  Technology is becoming increasingly important to what I do.

Being immersed in so much talk of painting makes me want to high tail it to the MFA today and get lost in the colors and forms of all that genius. There is an Egon Schiele exhibit, plus the gems and favorites from the collection. So many of the pieces referenced in the book are housed right here in Boston. We are so lucky.  I look around me, however, and can't seem to reconcile the things that need doing with a creative hunger that needs satisfying. That and the RA flare up and the impending energy crash...feels like crushed glass in my knees and ankles, and despite the strong sun this morning, I need to sleep more. Not exactly conducive to walking the sacred halls of the MFA. Or washing the floors, either, but that is non-negotiable. Then again, the book revealed that Picasso was a pack rat and his studio and living quarters were a cluttered, filthy mess. Hmmmm....

Come to think of it, Picasso may have been creating a portrait of an RA body. Cheers. 

Brrrr, chilly. Hapi greets me with this mantra as I flip the kitchen light on at 5:30 this morning. Why up so early on a Sunday? Better ask Toby about that. It was a good sleep, nonetheless. I can hear the mourning doves cooing outside. I think they are asking why it is only thirty two degrees out on April 15th, too. On behalf of all the creatures, in the house and out, I beg Mother Nature to let spring come visit for a while. I have a suspicion that this will be a year when we get jerked from winter to summer without the lovely fringe season that allows for yard work to get done without excessive heat. Bizarre weather these days. 

The pugz are laying together on an oversized poofy dog bed, snoring in synch, ignorant to the fact that they are why I am awake this early on a Sunday. The floors are washed, at least for now, the shopping is done, the laundry is under way. My current piece, a digital print that is about 18x24, is waiting. The beads are out. All I have to do is take it off the wall and...start. 

Another birdie awakens and reminds me that they all need their brekkie. That the sooner I get going, the sooner I am into the new Denise Mina mystery and the beads. But the coffee needs drinking, too. Ah, vacation. Ah, the never ending draw of art. More ideas than I could get to in a lifetime. Taking them one at a time, hoping the best ones rise to the top. 

This week I can finally set up the printer I got as a replacement for the one that works intermittently (as in when a walnut is not lodged in the sheet feeder, thank you Hapi.) I did get the insurance policy, and it refunded the whole cost of the printer. Woot! I was able to test inks and upgrade to a larger print format to allow for more printing and playing, and a roll of Print on Fabric is coming from Dharma Trading to let this happen. This is going to be fantastic. If only my hands could keep up with the printing. So inspired by the work Linda and Laura Kemshall have been doing. Incredible in both productivity and quality. Laura's ability to incorporate paperwork and cloth together is genius. 

The rhododendron bush is literally shivering outside the window. I'm sure it is a breeze, but it could easily be seen as a tremor from the cold. My coffee is cold. I am cold. Sigh. Spring in New England. Cheers. 

And it is both Easter and April Fool's Day today. Talk about incongruous! To me it is Sunday. Hoping the supermarket is open so I can get my birds their veggies, and hoping my legs and feet hold out so that I can get the daily to-do's done. Have started hand stitching into the new digitally printed piece, and really want to delve into that, as well. Started a new Elizabeth George book, so the audio is ready! 

I love spring. The birds return, and hopefully the little duck family that visits every year will, too. The dogs can get out more, and I can get a little (much needed) exercise by trying to tame the yard. Mother Nature helped a lot this year, knocking down trees and whipping the tops off of dried bamboo shoots. Lots of stuff to cut up and move, which will be good. Bring on the warm temps and sunshine. 

If only the feet and legs will calm down a bit so I can get to it. Past few weeks have been tough, culminating in a trip to Walmart last night in search of slippers that touch my feet the least so I can pad around the house at least in less misery. Due for Remicade next week, but don't think it is doing much.  It is hard to know that "all" I have to do is take more prednisone and I'd feel better. For a while. But the weight gain, moving of fat deposits to new places on my body, and bone thinning are not "better" at all. What a choice.  I am trying to just stick it out without upping the pred and it isn't easy. I hate you, RA, and can not see the silver lining. I just feel loss and limitation. Like a creeping tide, I feel like I am losing this battle.  I just feel like I am not tough enough, or mentally flexible enough, for continued physical deterioration. 

Toby, on the other hand, plugs along with great self satisfaction. Leaving an unpleasant trail wherever he goes, wagging his tail, happy to be alive. I don't know how he does it. I try to learn from him and adopt a carefree, moment to moment attitude, but get lost in thinking about the future. I don't think dogs think about the future. That must be the key! I should have been a dog. 

Delving into the book from the current PEM exhibit of T.C. Cannon's gorgeous art. I love the variety of the work in the exhibit -- so real. Some art on canvas, some on scraps of paper, some mixed media on wood panels. Great collection. The paintings reflect so many art historical styles but are still original, and so strong in their content. I see traces of Van Gogh, Matisse, Rauchenberg, Native American art (of course) and traditional textile pieces woven together with the post-60's painting techniques. Really good stuff that makes me want to paint more! His art reveals the fun of color to me. 

​Just lovely. Cheers.