A quiet Sunday morning. A light rain is falling, creating wafts of wet asphalt and spring that drift into the kitchen. One of the bigger neighbor dogs a block away is woofing her good mornings, while my three pups sleep soundly on their pile of beds near me in the kitchen, thankfully not responding. Even the birds are being relaxed this morning -- Kizzy grumbling the occasional "Whaaat?" and Hap saying "Ok, I gotta go..." but in a way that sounds like he doesn't really mean it. It was 6:30 am a minute ago. Now it is 7:39. What happened? That is happening a lot, lately. And the cup of coffee is still full. 

Facing challenging times with the Tobster this week.  Between the sudden and extreme heat that moved in for a couple days and a recent difficult spell with his diabetes and/or Addisons, he had a rough week.  As in not being able to go for a walk kind of patch, definitely not his style, and extreme G/I disturbances. He did walk last night and seemed interested again, so hope is not lost. He is not feeling his best, and I have to be prepared for him not bouncing back like the Toby the Immortal Dog he has become. As I wrote this he suddenly got up, holding one paw up, and hobbled aimlessly down the length of the kitchen on three legs, then returned to bed. Yup, poor Tobes. I fear his end is near. :( 

This dog has caused me massive amounts of stress and frustration, but he has taught me equal amounts of patience, and has been one heck of a role model for maintaining a lust for life despite not having optimal health. My little guy and I have shared a Prednisone prescription but sadly I've never mastered his almost carefree way of dealing with physical losses. Blindness, deafness, and weakness from not one, not two, but three rotten long-term diseases can't stop his tail from wagging and his happiness at receiving a belly rub. When all is said and done, my little canine shadow has taught me so much that I am actually grateful for his destructive presence in my home. And man, has he been destructive!!!

Am trying not to dwell on the physical stuff but suffice it to say the Remicade is not doing much of anything, or if it is, I can't tell. Unlike Toby I feel like going to bed for say, a year or so, to encourage the pain to take a break. The joint swelling is pretty much constant. The expression "Listen to your body" is false -- if I did, I'd never move again!

The one thing that keeps me going mentally is the potential of art. Even if I can't put the time in right now to consistently pump out all the ideas I have, at least I have the ideas.  Such an exciting time to be into textiles -- the ability to create digital textiles at home and combine them with other media provides unlimited possibilities. My brain is firing off ideas daily, and many of them do make it to my sketchbook, where they will sit until time comes for me to delve into materials and make them happen. So many thoughts, so little actual time. Such is life. 

The wide format printer is working great and has made a set of fabric pages for my first digital fabric book. The larger size is dramatically different and I can't wait to get into the image and explore possibilities. The resource photo is one that I've considered making into a large piece, and playing with variations of it this way will either help me refine my idea or make me tired of the image altogether. We shall see. Onward! 

Pulled out my pre-vacation to do list today, as it is Friday. Five days off, what got done? Barely anything! Granted, the day is not over, but I am not optimistic. Awoke at 3 a.m. with full body cringeworthy pain that was so uncomfortable I couldn't get up to even stretch or get pain meds.  Listened to the radio and counted breaths until I fell asleep again around 4:30. Welcome to the glamorous world of RA. It has been a tough week in terms of pain levels, even though I made a conscious effort to keep moving like I do when I am at work. Weather? Maybe. General exhaustion? Maybe. Tired of trying to figure it all out. All I know is that every day I leave behind a massive trail of important things that need doing, including housework that never seems to get complete.  And I try to continue with art, as it is one of the few ways I can escape the consciousness of the pain. 

So, feeling stiff, sore, and exhausted all week, I delved into one of the large digital prints I made during a course a couple summers ago. Listened to a fabulous audiobook by Miles Unger called Picasso and the Painting That Shocked the World.  Not only did it profile a young Picasso's life, it dismantled one of the most confusing paintings in art history to a point where I feel that I truly understand it, and Cubism, much better than before. Brilliant writing. I hope to find a paper copy of the book at some point to mark up. Lots of quotes that bring such clarity to a confusing, layered subject. 

The piece I am working on is very challenging to bead and embellish. The layers are irregular and semi-transparent. When beads are added, they become distinct and more physical.  Adding embellishment effects the layers and permanency of the objects in the piece, and a certain amount of ambiguity is lost. I like the print by itself and am being surprised by the way it is changing with the beads. I do not like all of it yet, but happily know that it is a print that could be remade -- as opposed to the one-of-a-kind collage pieces I usually make.  Technology is becoming increasingly important to what I do.

Being immersed in so much talk of painting makes me want to high tail it to the MFA today and get lost in the colors and forms of all that genius. There is an Egon Schiele exhibit, plus the gems and favorites from the collection. So many of the pieces referenced in the book are housed right here in Boston. We are so lucky.  I look around me, however, and can't seem to reconcile the things that need doing with a creative hunger that needs satisfying. That and the RA flare up and the impending energy crash...feels like crushed glass in my knees and ankles, and despite the strong sun this morning, I need to sleep more. Not exactly conducive to walking the sacred halls of the MFA. Or washing the floors, either, but that is non-negotiable. Then again, the book revealed that Picasso was a pack rat and his studio and living quarters were a cluttered, filthy mess. Hmmmm....

Come to think of it, Picasso may have been creating a portrait of an RA body. Cheers. 

Brrrr, chilly. Hapi greets me with this mantra as I flip the kitchen light on at 5:30 this morning. Why up so early on a Sunday? Better ask Toby about that. It was a good sleep, nonetheless. I can hear the mourning doves cooing outside. I think they are asking why it is only thirty two degrees out on April 15th, too. On behalf of all the creatures, in the house and out, I beg Mother Nature to let spring come visit for a while. I have a suspicion that this will be a year when we get jerked from winter to summer without the lovely fringe season that allows for yard work to get done without excessive heat. Bizarre weather these days. 

The pugz are laying together on an oversized poofy dog bed, snoring in synch, ignorant to the fact that they are why I am awake this early on a Sunday. The floors are washed, at least for now, the shopping is done, the laundry is under way. My current piece, a digital print that is about 18x24, is waiting. The beads are out. All I have to do is take it off the wall and...start. 

Another birdie awakens and reminds me that they all need their brekkie. That the sooner I get going, the sooner I am into the new Denise Mina mystery and the beads. But the coffee needs drinking, too. Ah, vacation. Ah, the never ending draw of art. More ideas than I could get to in a lifetime. Taking them one at a time, hoping the best ones rise to the top. 

This week I can finally set up the printer I got as a replacement for the one that works intermittently (as in when a walnut is not lodged in the sheet feeder, thank you Hapi.) I did get the insurance policy, and it refunded the whole cost of the printer. Woot! I was able to test inks and upgrade to a larger print format to allow for more printing and playing, and a roll of Print on Fabric is coming from Dharma Trading to let this happen. This is going to be fantastic. If only my hands could keep up with the printing. So inspired by the work Linda and Laura Kemshall have been doing. Incredible in both productivity and quality. Laura's ability to incorporate paperwork and cloth together is genius. 

The rhododendron bush is literally shivering outside the window. I'm sure it is a breeze, but it could easily be seen as a tremor from the cold. My coffee is cold. I am cold. Sigh. Spring in New England. Cheers. 

And it is both Easter and April Fool's Day today. Talk about incongruous! To me it is Sunday. Hoping the supermarket is open so I can get my birds their veggies, and hoping my legs and feet hold out so that I can get the daily to-do's done. Have started hand stitching into the new digitally printed piece, and really want to delve into that, as well. Started a new Elizabeth George book, so the audio is ready! 

I love spring. The birds return, and hopefully the little duck family that visits every year will, too. The dogs can get out more, and I can get a little (much needed) exercise by trying to tame the yard. Mother Nature helped a lot this year, knocking down trees and whipping the tops off of dried bamboo shoots. Lots of stuff to cut up and move, which will be good. Bring on the warm temps and sunshine. 

If only the feet and legs will calm down a bit so I can get to it. Past few weeks have been tough, culminating in a trip to Walmart last night in search of slippers that touch my feet the least so I can pad around the house at least in less misery. Due for Remicade next week, but don't think it is doing much.  It is hard to know that "all" I have to do is take more prednisone and I'd feel better. For a while. But the weight gain, moving of fat deposits to new places on my body, and bone thinning are not "better" at all. What a choice.  I am trying to just stick it out without upping the pred and it isn't easy. I hate you, RA, and can not see the silver lining. I just feel loss and limitation. Like a creeping tide, I feel like I am losing this battle.  I just feel like I am not tough enough, or mentally flexible enough, for continued physical deterioration. 

Toby, on the other hand, plugs along with great self satisfaction. Leaving an unpleasant trail wherever he goes, wagging his tail, happy to be alive. I don't know how he does it. I try to learn from him and adopt a carefree, moment to moment attitude, but get lost in thinking about the future. I don't think dogs think about the future. That must be the key! I should have been a dog. 

Delving into the book from the current PEM exhibit of T.C. Cannon's gorgeous art. I love the variety of the work in the exhibit -- so real. Some art on canvas, some on scraps of paper, some mixed media on wood panels. Great collection. The paintings reflect so many art historical styles but are still original, and so strong in their content. I see traces of Van Gogh, Matisse, Rauchenberg, Native American art (of course) and traditional textile pieces woven together with the post-60's painting techniques. Really good stuff that makes me want to paint more! His art reveals the fun of color to me. 

​Just lovely. Cheers. 

Oh, Mother Nature. Oh...you...ahem. There are at least 20" of snow waiting for me to move from my car, porch, walkways, and more this morning, so this has to be brief. They said it was going to be a big storm, but I think no one expected this. Feet of the stuff covering all surfaces and filling in gaps on the horizon, making our scapes smooth and relatively beautiful, until they are broken by shovel or plow. Was woken by the snowplow crushing feet of the stuff into a messy crag at the end of my driveway, leaving my car in a snow-igloo that I have to crack open like a big, thick, icy egg. Glad to have the day to do it, I guess!

My quilt talk to the Quinnobequin Quilters has been moved to next Tuesday...surprise, another storm is expected on Monday/Tuesday. At school, we were shooting for a 6/15 ending, but that has now moved to 6/20 and counting. That never bothers me though, as I teach right up to the last day no matter when it is. I like a four day work week due to my body handling it better, but a three day week? Ummm....Maybe a Saturday make up day is in order!

In between shoveling and tackling the never ending household tasks yesterday I did take the plunge and begin quilting a large digital print. This is from the scans of collages I made during the class I took at Mass Art. Have been sitting on a large set of big fabric prints...waiting to know what to do with them. After completing the first large digital print (the Stonehenge piece...gotta photograph that!) I *think* I am ready to give this a whirl. The quilting is much more complicated on this one as the shapes are less clearly defined. The shapes I am making with the thread have to either merge with the image or float on top of it, and since it is so hard to take stitches out without damaging the print, it is a one-shot deal. There's a peek below. 

It is scary to just jump into a flat print like this -- if I collage onto it with additional fabric shapes, it will be after quilting. I couldn't see a place where adding fabric would enhance the image yet. The Ghosts of Quilts past are telling me that I am doing it wrong because it is so different than what I've done before. The Ghosts of Quilts future and excitedly calling me to get going so I can see what it will become. Sadly, the ghosts of Quilts Present are saying "Hey, hurry up! Isn't there something else you should be doing? Like shoveling? Finish this already!"

Sigh. It is 7:22 a.m., time to feed the farm and get going. It's going to be a long, good day! Cheers and safe snow removal to all. 

Waiting for yet another snowstorm to crawl across the map and wreak havoc on everyone's lives here in New England. But then it will be SPRING! Maybe...!  Reading is situated at the crossroads of routes 93 and 128, which serves as the line on the weather map distinguishing snow calculations this time. We shall see. 

Finishing up the embroidery unit at school with my seventh graders. I have to say that while many kids enjoyed doing the project, many of the results I've seen so far don't really reach my expectations. In order to get kids stitching to the level I thought we could would involve more practice time, which we just don't have, especially this year with additional classes in our schedule (frequent shortened periods.) I am happy that kids have gotten the chance to do some stitching but at this point even I am getting tired of threading needles! Onward to the Renaissance and drawing with these artists! 

Am looking forward to starting my next projects, and am at the "percolating" phase.  Letting my brain almost unconsciously sift through several ideas and the forms these ideas could take. I have many great pieces of digital fabric to use but also have to make more for some of these ideas. I do not want to work too large, but also am tired of mini-pieces and think the sweet spot of 3'-ish is a good size to investigate. I also want to get into fabric book making and have started another "blackwork graffiti" stitch piece. So yep, even when I think I am not "making art," it is all around me.  I always want to do more, learn more about what materials and images can do. So fun, so essential. 

Clawing away at the routines in my life to secure a little more art time. Indulging over vacation was so good! Soul wants more! Took in a robot vacuum last week that is really helpful so far. One of those things that I wish I did sooner. Can't use it in the bird room as the detritus is too big, but in other rooms it is better than me sweeping (and bending) or worse, hauling a vacuum around. I named my vac Rosie because of the maid on the Jetsons, and other less charitable reasons. Even if it helps a little around here, it will be a lot. 

Am lamenting the loss of yet another piece of jewelry. This time it is a silver labradorite ring I just acquired in December. Not expensive, but I really loved it. It's deep blue reflective and sparkly color was so meditative. My hands were sore and inflamed yesterday, and I found myself unconsciously taking my rings off and on throughout the day. I had them on last night and then when I went to bed I realized it was gone. It could be anywhere, and I've learned that no matter how "thorough" I search, it may or may not be gone forever. It will turn up again if it is still here, and a frantic inventory of things doesn't always yield results. Will check the sidewalk and car, but am not hopeful. Oh well -- at the end of the day it is just a thing. 

Had a nice time last night with my wonderful friends who pretend that they are "students" in my art class. We investigate creating together, and while I'd love to be able to show them new things all the time, they are so naturally gifted it is a hard thing to do! Love these sweet peeps! 

The sun is coming up, the coffee cup is empty, and I have to start gimping around and feeding my little farm-fam. Cheers to another day and another snowstorm. 

Back to school edition! Happy to be back at school where art is everywhere, all day long. Am disappointed at the pain levels I'm experiencing, but am trying to deal with it. It gets very old!

My mantra has always been "and this too will pass..." but I am finding it just isn't passing, and Da Feet and Legs are becoming nightmarishly consistent in their high pain levels.  I walk because I have to, but every step is very painful and difficult. I can not think of any way of living with this and making it better. A cane doesn't help as it is both feet/legs. A wheelchair is too much help, really. Maybe I just need a segue. I literally Google'd "walking with two broken feet" and "assistive devices for two broken feet"  to see what came up. Nothing about two broken feet, lots about what to do with one. People with this problem just end up sitting too much, getting too fat, and bringing on a host of other problems. I can understand how this happens. Got to push through the pain and keep moving. Even if it kills me lol!

Looking forward to the next art piece I want to begin, now that the Eternal Temptation (Stonehenge) piece is finally done. It will be on display this week at the Albion Cultural Exchange Art and Edibles exhibit. Come on down. I will be hanging out on Friday night, when my "interactive" edible quilt will hopefully be consumed! Huge thank you to Andrea Willey for her amazing organization and insight in putting this exhibit together. I can't wait to see it!

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N! It is great to have art time again. Have caught up on the embellishment of my digital "Stonehenge" piece and also have made something else...! I can't reveal what it is as it is going to be part of an upcoming local show (Art and Edibles, Arts Collaborative of Wakefield), but can say it took 12 pieces of digitally printed fabric to make.  And has NUDITY. In fact, this will be the first time I exhibit a "naked" quilt -- in addition to imagery of appropriately nude figures, it will have zero beads on it. Mostly because I have no time to do it -- my brain is rearing to go at it with threads and beads galore, though. Maybe later...we shall see...! Here's a sneak peek. It was fun to print out and assemble the large image, and took about four hours non-stop to quilt it yesterday. For the first time in ages I let myself get lost in just DOING and not worrying about all the other things that need to get done in my cray-cray life. Felt great. Must do it again sometime! 

Listening to a long audiobook about the history of the American west and Native American tribes. I knew they were a violent lot back then, but seriously was not aware of the grisly punishments they exacted on their enemy tribes and settlers. Peaceful nation, my foot! Wow. Ugly history. 

Spring was in the air for the past two days with temps in the mid to high 70's and warm sunshine. All windows were open, and Kizzy went for a ride in the car just for fun. We all needed it. A little bit of spring. I love these surprise warm days...reminds us all that spring is really around the corner. Add to it that Irish daffodils arrived at Market Basket, and the continual warmth is just a few weeks away. The parrots are in spring mode -- Hapi bit me last night while demanding head scratches, and Kizzy has the lightest of "musty" macaw scent in his feathers. Adolescence and springtime...

As always I am frustrated by my lack of energy and inability for my body to keep up with my mind. No easy answers, there. Sigh. Takes so much energy to put one foot in front of the other, literally and figuratively. I am grateful to my friends and family for understanding and being there when the going gets rough. Which seems to be a lot lately.  And to my Elderhostel, who though they make a total mess of my house, also are a continual and crucial loving presence in my home. 

​Onward to Thursday. 

What a month! Long time no write due to being ill for most of the time since the last post. Finally coming out of the fog and able to function a bit better. Everyone is so sick around here!  Happy to get a few warm days tossed in to the otherwise winter mix we've had, and have even seen a little bunny in the yard a couple times. Spring will be here before we know it. Hopefully the overpopulation of bunnies will continue, too. 

Almost done with the big piece I've been working on. It's been a long project and I will be glad to see it done. Then on to the next! I'm really loving the digital connection and exploring ways digital fabric can be combined with hand and machine stitch, and fabric collage, and beads, and maybe paint, lol, is what is next. So much to do! So little time. 

I came across an artist whose work I love on the Facebook Mini-Textiles page. Boisali Biswas creates with mixed media stitching and weaving. Her sense of color is dynamite. I particularly love the small mixed media weavings she creates and am using her work as inspiration for my 6th graders' upcoming project. Small, jewel like little pieces that are perfect in scale and material choices. Love them! Her larger work is just beautiful too and I am so inspired. Wowza! The concept of re-purposing old pieces of art / reassembling pieces is great and relates to the kantha quilts that I love, too, and the boro sites I've been watching on Facebook. Such a simple idea, but so rich with possiblities. 

A day ahead of battling very significant sciatic nerve, foot and ankle pain, with side orders of elbow and hand pain. A to-do list with 47 items and all I want to do is finish my Stonehenge piece. Sigh! I tell myself that someday things will be different and I will have more time (think dog maintenance, here) -- but know that there are no guarantees for any of us.  Cheers. 

Fake it till you make it, I guess! After sleeping all but a few hours yesterday and last night, and checking in with my doc by phone about the lingering exhaustion and other things, I woke today feeling a smidge better.  Good thing as my house needs some TLC whether I like it or not! My self imposed bedridden status helped, at least for a couple days, and if I can stomach the atb's for a couple more days I'll be even better. Here goes.

I can't believe that my doggies can sleep so much, too. They are a riot and NEVER complain about having to go back to bed. I wake periodically and see them out cold and loving it. My best pals. As much as I say I am done with dogs after this lot, I might have to reconsider. They have really helped me rest during this bout of respiratory mange.  The birds are putting up with less interaction, too, and Hapi entertained himself last night by finding a bag filled with packages of playing cards (meant to be turned into bird toys) and tossing individual cards all over the floor. He had a blast, so it is fine with me! 

On the art front, I am increasingly interested in the whole Boro-upcycle movement that I see cropping up everywhere. I love the Indian kantha blankets that reuse fabric and have one on my bed courtesy of Ocean State Job Lot (On sale this week...might have to grab a second...perfect for year round use) and have been seeing such interesting little stitched pieces made from clothing scraps. The only thing holding me back from cutting up all the clothes I no longer need is the waste factor -- once I cut into something, using only a scrap, what happens to the rest? Isn't that more wasteful than just donating old garments? Hmmm...I suppose they could be recycled in the textile bin near the school.  I have visions of painting and/or using old washcloths, towel scraps, and clothing I've loved but no longer wear. Stitching into fragments to make them as precious as the memory of the garment was...wait, here's another tangent to play with. Brain, stop! Too many options. I better get these chores done early to try to get some art time in, methinks! Cheers. 

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