Amy Ropple - Make Art!
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September 30, 2017

9/30/2017

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Raw, cold Saturday morning. Rainy. Good weather to stay in and be cozy, cleaning up and doing art, if the legs allow for both. I have more ideas than I can get to, especially digital. Hmmm....wondering about that.

I am really loving the possibilities afforded by digital printing on fabric. What is the relationship between the digital image I make and the finished textile, though? How much embellishment is needed vs. it becoming merely decorative? Are the "naked" images ever enough to call them art? They might be. Maybe in print form? Can I allow my artistic self to branch out a bit and "see" my art differently? I have a room full of art slides of historical images I am waiting to play with, and am still working on the first one I scanned and used over a year ago. I like my textile art because it shows evidence of my breath, my action, my being, one stitch or bead placed at a time. The overall effect resonates with my energy. Over the top? Yeah, you could say that. But that is the cloth I am made of, in many ways. 

Without being too maudlin, I get the sense that with the RA (and the meds I take for it) and my family history that longevity is not on the cards, and I tend to try to make the most of life. And every art piece, I think. Every day, every relationship. All we all have, from day to day, is now. A little future, maybe, but mostly today. The heavily stitched and beaded pieces is my way of saying "I've been here," I think. Strange thoughts this morning. Strange times, too, I think. As my ex-husband said, it is all kind of silly, though as there is truth to his words of "when you are dead all your art will end up in the trash." I don't think that really matters, though. The trash pile will be pretty! When art is what you do, you just gotta do it. 

I look around me and see a huge amount of physical work that needs doing, and my legs just aren't ready yet. Maybe this gap of time makes me more reflective. Brain ready, body not! But I also see my three elderly pups, curled up siggeldy-piggeldy on a big pile of dog beds and blankets, accepting that their breakfast needs to wait for my legs, too.  My love for them goes deeper than just about anything. My cats stride through the room, monitoring the hidden feline airwaves for sounds I can not hear, letting me know all is well. The birds offer their vocal two cents, but aren't very demanding. They all get the routine. I am grateful for such unwavering love and support from my "kids." If only people were as understanding. 

C'mon legs. There is art to make, dog laundry to do, and floors to clean. Let the day begin! 

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September 26, 2017

9/26/2017

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Spent a luxurious hour or so last night working on my current big piece. Ah, the power of stitch. I am using very simple running stitches throughout to add tone, direction, and texture, and am trying not to obscure the original digitally printed image while adding surface. Challenging! Once again, having the time to just sit, stitch, and get lost in an audiobook was medicine for the soul. Yes, I still had a million things that needed doing, but am grateful that I forgot about them for one night after the dogs were walked, the birds put to bed (except for Hapi, who hung out with me) and a few chores completed. Stitching is like an unwinding of the soul. 

Then, almost all at once, my battery drained and I needed to find my bed. Stumbling tired, which surprised even me. I guess it was a busy day, beginning at 4:30 instead of the usual 5 a.m. Plowed through the day, arthritis hanging on like a nasty bulldog on my sleeve, but not having an exceptionally restrictive impact. Walked to school, and when walking my dogs I met a really nice woman who had a gigantic long legged hound that wanted to meet my brood. Turns out I taught her children a longtime ago. Turns out also that she has multiple autoimmune diseases and sees the same rheumatologist I do. We made a warm connection through illness, in a "takes one to know one" sort of way. She had similar experiences to my own and has been severely impacted by having multiple illnesses. So hard! 

Just read on another board that Thomas Jefferson had "rheumatism" -- could have been osteoarthritis, but his descriptions sound very much like RA, too. Go figure...I can't imagine having this without the anti-inflammatory / RA meds we have now...and he still did a lot with his life. I suppose my Dad got through his life with only naprosyn (Aleve), which most likely destroyed his gut, but might have addressed a little of the pain. He had a poor quality of life and every day I remind myself of the choice I have to make -- to give in, or get over it.  If I truly listened to my body I would never leave my bed, would weigh a million pounds, and would sleep all day. So, I don't listen!

Today after school I have my new activity called "Stitch Club." A gaggle of kids who are learning how to embroider. It is a blast and I feel so happy to be passing on my passion to eager kids that might be able to benefit from the skills in a life-long way. So fun! Can't wait to see what they do for projects! 

Art is a process and a way of life as much as it is a bunch of objects. I am grateful to have ART in my life as well as ARThritis. Art will win, or at least make the ride more bearable. I don't know how Jefferson did it. Cheers. 

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September 21, 2017

9/21/2017

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Encountering death is never easy. Whether we are young or old, whether we know the deceased directly or are acquainted with a relative, or whether it is a death we hear about with no connection at all, it can have impact. Often surprising. Sometimes visceral. 

Old memories are stirred up, and with them come the emotions of the time and place. In the case of the recent sudden death of a young teen in my town, there is shock and disbelief. I can not imagine the pain his family must be feeling right now. Out of the blue kind of passing. A truly lovely young man who was a joy to know. Quiet, sensitive, kind, positive, happy, polite. Focused on his future. Death makes no sense, and neither do our reactions to it. 

The rumor mill makes me feel sick. There is a natural curiosity to ask about what happened, but people seem to press for details and clarification as though it makes a difference why this person passed. Does it really? There are no answers at this time, and no clues either, for that matter. The stories I am hearing second hand from people I know make me feel ill.  I wonder how they'd feel if it was their child or relative who died suddenly?  Would they want people who don't know them theorizing about such a monumental loss and telling untrue stories? 

Yes, there have been so, so many sad deaths in our town related to drugs with young people. Too many, and it is horrific. In my years teaching I think I have seen more than a dozen students pass from drug related deaths. I see them when I go to my parents' graves at the cemetery. It is heartbreaking, tragic, and feels wasteful of life.  Too many kids turn to drugs, and too many kids can get them. But not all deaths are drug related. 

The cause of death of the young man that is being waked today has not been determined. There is no reason. There is no story. There are only rumors that can hurt the family, and I think it is terrible and unnecessary. I have heard rumors that paint a picture of this young man that simply isn't true. People, please stop passing along theories that make you feel good to say but have zero evidence. Thank you.

Maybe it is because if we think we know the whys of a death we can understand it and it won't happen to us or someone we love. We fear the Death Monster so greatly in our lives that any bit of understanding helps us cope with the idea that this is everyone's final destination. Surmising the "why" of a sudden death helps us understand the nature of death itself. In this case, though, we need to just accept it, grieve it, and hope the family finds peace in the face of such a tragic loss. 

Today and tomorrow are difficult days. They are not cushioned by gossip. Hug your children, everyone. 
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September 16, 2017

9/16/2017

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Another week! Crazy one, really. A lovely dinner party with my best friend Dona, her partner Paul, and Tim on my birthday, and a surprise party by my amazing stitching friends on Tuesday. Add to it cards, calls, and warm wishes from so many people and I'd say it was a nice week and I survived the hop into my fifties quite well. I am so, so grateful for the amazingly kind, supportive, and thoughtful people in my life that "get" me. I know how lucky am to know all of you and wouldn't survive without your kindness! Man, it takes a village sometimes. 

So, here I sit on a quiet Saturday morning. My house is in shambles due to ankle and foot problems that restricted my activity this week. They still are really painful and the left one is in a brace, but I have got to deal with the mess my kids and I make. When the house gets this bad I think about photos I've seen of serial killer Ed Gein's house and think "Careful...getting there!" Or the meme that says "Her decorating style is one that says "There are signs of a struggle." I will never be a domestic goddess, but hate it when it is this bad. The weather has been super humid so everything feels damp. Even the parrots! Yuck. I am passing time with my coffee, waiting for the pain meds to kick in so I can do more than hop on one foot with a cane. Thank god for medication that can at least make this all more bearable. 

Have tickets for a concert tonight that I'd love to see - Chameleons Vox at the Middle East in Cambridge. Not sure if the body can handle it, as seating is very limited there. A shame, really. I've emailed the club about arranging for a seated spot but am not optimistic. By the time I clean up this place, I might not have the energy to go anyway. Time will tell. I hate you, RA. 

On a bright note, I am in love with my classes at school, and the optimism that September brings. To be part of kids' lives at this important stage is a true gift. I look forward to the year and making their experiences as meaningful and fun as I can. Art is the best subject to teach! Getting the "vibe" of each class is what happens at this point -- deciding about seating plans and feeling out the personality of each of the fourteen different groups I teach. I am also teaching two after school classes for fun - Art Club and Stitch Group. Inspiration abounds! 

The best news of all is that on Wednesday my neighbor will be driving to Maine to bring home the newest addition to our Temple Street family. A baby Maltese! She is not a thoughtless replacement for the dear one who passed away in August -- no dog could ever compete with Chloe's personality. Ever. Lilly, the 9 year old Maltese that loved Chloe so, so much, is suffering visible anxiety and loneliness, though, so the decision was made to bring home a baby.  At 4 weeks she weighed 1.5 lbs., so she still will be a tiny little princess upon her arrival here. Baby Mia, welcome to the street who loves you already!!!!! 

So, where is the art in this "Make Art" post? I am trying...always trying...and tell myself that after I clean and do laundry and and and there will be time to snatch an hour. Here's to hoping. If I weren't in so much pain I'd be able to do so much. That is the reality and I have to deal with it. In my head there are so many art projects though. That is the sad part. Cheers. 
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September 10, 2017

9/10/2017

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God help the people in Florida and the Caribbean. Such destruction and devastation. Today is the Bad Day for Florida…
...and here I sit in my petty world waking up early to get things done and feeling like whining because my legs are screaming their nonsense. Riiiiight,

Everything is relative. The horror down there doesn’t mitigate the current RA problems that are creeping upon me, here though, as pain and suffering in any context is not a competitive sport, or balanced globally. If only it were! Imagine -- people having really good times could take a little hit some days share the bad, and vise versa. Ah, to dream! Crazy thoughts before coffee. I don’t think there is enough good in the world these days to support such a plan,sadly. Feels like we are living in a scary new age on so many fronts.

Tomorrow I join the ranks of those eligible for AARP. I turn fifty., I remember my parents turning fifty and recognizing it as a whole new ballgame. Oooooold. Lol. It is said that fifty is just a number, it is the new forty, part of the fantastic fifties,etc. Like 20, 30 and 40, 50 is a chance to reflect on life and lately it has felt like a ton of bricks! I see people posting pictures on Facebook of their gorgeous selves doing amazing things saying “This Is 50” and think it would be a funny parody if I did that in my current state! Quasimodo with a parrot poop stain on her shoulder!

Moving through each day is mostly physically tough, challenging, and time consuming, leaving me feeling like I have less time to do what I need to do. Takes me longer to do things and I need more rest to keep the swelling of my feet, ankles, and knees down, and give the inflamed tendons and ligaments time to calm the heck down before making them move again.  I feel like a large, slow moving, cumbersome creature. Welcome to 50! Looks like the disease activity is ramped up more than the Remicade can treat it causing more trouble walking than even a year ago. The scariest part for me is that I have started to have hand issues, too. I get pain and weakness when gripping things and am not sure where this will lead. I see images of Renoir with brushes taped to his hands and say “It’ll be ok!” Not sure I can tape a needle and thread to my fingers and make it work. Art, though, is flexible, and I feel confident that a medium will always exist for me.

These feelings of both doubt and acceptance of the future is echoed in the new song released by Squeeze last week. Uncanny, really. The week my mother died they released a song called “Some Fantastic Place” in which Chris Difford wrote a piercing yet optimistic reflection on the loss of someone close. The timing was perfect and it was a true comfort. This week’s new song is called “Innocence and Paradise” and matches my mental place really well, too. Chris is again reflecting on where he is in his life, looking at how to adjust thoughts and make the most of what is left, and what is rapidly passing. I can’t find a lyric sheet for the song yet to pinpoint specific parts, but here is the link to the song. Add to it the layered, hypnotic arrangement and Glenn’s angelic vocals, and this song is a classic already. An anthem, even. Brilliant. This group has the ability to define the contents of my heart, sometimes. True art. So happy to know there are two concerts coming up with this group,with excellent seats up front for both. Seeing this group live is like a church experience for me. Having Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook join forces 40 years ago must have been a divine conspiracy to bring joy to the world!

On the art front, today is the Reading Town Faire, featuring booths and open houses by downtown businesses. I’ll be joining in at the Art Lounge on Haven to hopefully get some peeps excited about upcoming classes. Sanity Stitching and Fabric Collage coming right up! Made some samples for the collage class featuring little cupcakes. More “crafty” than I am used to, but more fun and accessible for people who are new to the technique. They are naked cupcakes at this point and need threads and beads to be truly yummy! I’d like to challenge myself to take the next year to really, truly, dedicate at least 30 minutes to my art every day, no matter what -- not school art, not teaching art -- just my art pieces. I am not sure if such a commitment would be possible or just be another goal I can not reach. Methinks I think too much! Cheers.


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September 4, 2017

9/4/2017

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Monday, Monday...but it is Labor Day! Looking forward to catching up on schoolwork and homework and art today. Hopefully not in that order. Feeling sick about what the rest of the country is going through -- extensive fires in Montana, floods in Texas with more rains coming. If only the rain and fire could have combined to cancel each other out. This destruction is horrendous. I can't imagine. So here I am in my dry and fire-less kitchen, considering normal day to day things. Feels shallow to do so in light of all this suffering. 

Tim was kind to take me along on a really nice trip this weekend out to Tanglewood in Lenox, MA to see the 40th Anniversary show of Quadrophenia. A great experience! A very unusual combination of performers: Pete Townsend (The Who, of course!), Alfie Boe (Les Miserables), Billy Idol (himself!) and, of course, Keith Lockhart and the Boston Pops Orchestra and Choirs. Seeing all of these people together on a stage wouldn't happen in one's wildest dreams. History in the making! Because The Who were more traditional mainstream rock than what I was into in my early music days, I didn't know the Quadrophenia material very thoroughly. Even so, the show was animated and really beautiful -- the arrangements were superb. Must have been quite a task to translate rock into orchestra without losing the edge, which they did really well. The main singer, Alfie Bow, got a little "show-toony" at times with more "rock" toned material, but his enthusiasm and unbelievable voice made up for it. Seeing Billy Idol do more than just sneer and croak punk lyrics was quite a treat, too. And to even just see Pete Townsend! At 72, still playing hard. No smashed guitars, though. 

We ran into my bff and her boyfriend and hung with them on the lawn before taking our super good seats in the "shed." Some shed! Dona had a rolling cart, cut flowers, tablecloths, and plenty of wine to keep their evening going. Lots of much needed laughs and a really good time. Tim and I stayed in a lovely B&B just steps away from Tanglewood that was decorated to the hilt with such an arrangement of knick-nacks and dolls I may never recover. Really cute place with a chatty owner who made a yummy fritatta for breakfast, too. Must try that...!

Best of all was the fact that I knew the dogs, birds, and cats were being looked after, and it was a change of scenery without the immediate morning immersion into zookeeping. I love them dearly and actually missed them all during this short zip to Western Mass., but the break was nice. They did fine, and I am happy to know a pet sitter that can help for quick trips like this. Pricey but worth it, methinks. 

So, thank you Tim, should you stumble across this blog. I appreciate your kindness in including me and am really happy that you finally got to see your long time idol perform. Love you. Hope we have more adventures. 

And thank you, pets, for not creating domestic mayhem for the sitters or getting sick while I was off duty for just about 24 hours. I am well aware of all that could happen! 

One more week til I've completed a 50 year spin around the sun. Can't believe I made it. Back in the day of listening to Billy Idol I thought surely I'd never make 40. The nihilism of youth. Anything now is gravy, as they say. Depressing doc appointments last week makes me realize that the RA is advancing, and it is all too easy to get stuck in a rut with this mess. Was nice to get away and while still dealing with it, at least deal with it with different wallpaper. Cheers. 



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    Amy Ropple is an artist and art educator who believes engaging in visual art can make life happier and more meaningful.  This blog is a daily journal of creative habits and interests, as well as reflections on living with chronic autoimmune disease. Website: http://amyropple.com

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