...and here I sit in my petty world waking up early to get things done and feeling like whining because my legs are screaming their nonsense. Riiiiight,
Everything is relative. The horror down there doesn’t mitigate the current RA problems that are creeping upon me, here though, as pain and suffering in any context is not a competitive sport, or balanced globally. If only it were! Imagine -- people having really good times could take a little hit some days share the bad, and vise versa. Ah, to dream! Crazy thoughts before coffee. I don’t think there is enough good in the world these days to support such a plan,sadly. Feels like we are living in a scary new age on so many fronts.
Tomorrow I join the ranks of those eligible for AARP. I turn fifty., I remember my parents turning fifty and recognizing it as a whole new ballgame. Oooooold. Lol. It is said that fifty is just a number, it is the new forty, part of the fantastic fifties,etc. Like 20, 30 and 40, 50 is a chance to reflect on life and lately it has felt like a ton of bricks! I see people posting pictures on Facebook of their gorgeous selves doing amazing things saying “This Is 50” and think it would be a funny parody if I did that in my current state! Quasimodo with a parrot poop stain on her shoulder!
Moving through each day is mostly physically tough, challenging, and time consuming, leaving me feeling like I have less time to do what I need to do. Takes me longer to do things and I need more rest to keep the swelling of my feet, ankles, and knees down, and give the inflamed tendons and ligaments time to calm the heck down before making them move again. I feel like a large, slow moving, cumbersome creature. Welcome to 50! Looks like the disease activity is ramped up more than the Remicade can treat it causing more trouble walking than even a year ago. The scariest part for me is that I have started to have hand issues, too. I get pain and weakness when gripping things and am not sure where this will lead. I see images of Renoir with brushes taped to his hands and say “It’ll be ok!” Not sure I can tape a needle and thread to my fingers and make it work. Art, though, is flexible, and I feel confident that a medium will always exist for me.
These feelings of both doubt and acceptance of the future is echoed in the new song released by Squeeze last week. Uncanny, really. The week my mother died they released a song called “Some Fantastic Place” in which Chris Difford wrote a piercing yet optimistic reflection on the loss of someone close. The timing was perfect and it was a true comfort. This week’s new song is called “Innocence and Paradise” and matches my mental place really well, too. Chris is again reflecting on where he is in his life, looking at how to adjust thoughts and make the most of what is left, and what is rapidly passing. I can’t find a lyric sheet for the song yet to pinpoint specific parts, but here is the link to the song. Add to it the layered, hypnotic arrangement and Glenn’s angelic vocals, and this song is a classic already. An anthem, even. Brilliant. This group has the ability to define the contents of my heart, sometimes. True art. So happy to know there are two concerts coming up with this group,with excellent seats up front for both. Seeing this group live is like a church experience for me. Having Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook join forces 40 years ago must have been a divine conspiracy to bring joy to the world!
On the art front, today is the Reading Town Faire, featuring booths and open houses by downtown businesses. I’ll be joining in at the Art Lounge on Haven to hopefully get some peeps excited about upcoming classes. Sanity Stitching and Fabric Collage coming right up! Made some samples for the collage class featuring little cupcakes. More “crafty” than I am used to, but more fun and accessible for people who are new to the technique. They are naked cupcakes at this point and need threads and beads to be truly yummy! I’d like to challenge myself to take the next year to really, truly, dedicate at least 30 minutes to my art every day, no matter what -- not school art, not teaching art -- just my art pieces. I am not sure if such a commitment would be possible or just be another goal I can not reach. Methinks I think too much! Cheers.